Leaving the bedside as a nurse for a management job was quite possibly one of the worst things I have ever done.
Now that I have returned to the bedside, I feel nervous, anxious, worried, and doubtful. And it sucks. Big time. Things as simple as an IV push medication have become anxiety-provoking. I am afraid I’ll forget something, forget everything, forget to chart a detail, forget to draw a lab, forget my brain at home.
Yes, it’s true. I have forgotten how it feels to be a confident floor nurse.
I have bit my tongue for quite some time about my stint in management, but when I look back upon that brief experience, I don’t have much to feel good about. I felt awful going to work almost every single shift. I never once felt that I was making a difference.
I felt like I was checking boxes.
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